Have you ever been in love?

“Have you ever been in love?
Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable.
It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.
You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life… You give them a piece of you.
They didn’t ask for it.
They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages.
It gets inside you.
It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts.
Not just in the imagination.
Not just in the mind.
It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

The Help

Finally! Yes, finally last week I watched this movie although this movie was officially released in USA in 2011.

Pertama kali baca bukunya di tahun 2009, dapat gratis sebagai hadiah ulang tahun di bulan Oktober. Diawali dari keisengan saya membuka www.amazon.com dan mengecek daftar buku-buku yang masuk kategori "New York Times Best Seller". Di daftar teratas dengan kategori 5 bintang adalah buku karya Kathryn Stockett ini. Saya baca reviewnya dan setelah itu saya menetapkan di dalam hati bahwa suatu saat buku ini harus saya miliki.

Saking seringnya mengecek apakah buku ini sudah bisa di beli di toko buku di Jakarta atau engga dan saking seringnya ngomongin ini buku dikantor, akhirnya temen saya menghadiahkan buku idaman saya ini tepat di hari ulang tahun saya. Senangnya :)

Berhubung baru aja masuk ke Indonesia, jadi pada saat itu buku ini belum diterjemahkan ke dalam bahasa Indonesia. Agak sulit awalnya buat saya untuk memahami beberapa kalimat atau kata-kata 'slank' yang dipakai warga Amerika kulit hitam tapi hanya dalam beberapa minggu, saya akhirnya sukses menyelesaikan buku ini. Gak berapa lama setelah buku ini selesai saya baca, akhirnya ada kabar bahwa buku ini akan segera difilmkan dengan bintang utama Emma Stone. Whoa...! Saya semakin excited dan akhirnya setelah penantian panjang, di awal tahun 2012 akhirnya saya bisa melihat tokoh-tokoh yang sebelumnya hanya bisa saya visualisasikan di dalam pikiran saya sendiri.

The Help mengisahkan perjuangan seorang wanita muda kulit putih yang bercita-cita menjadi seorang penulis yang pada akhirnya memiliki kesempatan untuk membuat buku dengan dibantu oleh beberapa pekerja kulit hitam yang pada saat itu haknya masih sangat dibatasi oleh para majikan mereka yang berkulit putih.

Berhubung (lagi) saya bukan seorang kritikus film ataupun penulis handal, jadi saya tidak membuat review yang panjang lebar, ya :) Tapi saya bisa bilang kalau buku dan film ini adalah salah satu karya terbaik yang pernah saya nikmati.

A bitter episode

It's been weeks and soon even a month without his presence. There is feeling of relief and freedom flows in my vein as he left, but all of it mixed with a great sense of loss.

Sometimes I blame myself for everything happened, there are times when I'm angry because I was treated very unfairly, I sometimes let myself talk in silence and thinking what have I done in the past so now I have to feel this.

I miss him sometimes, although the last time he said , "I can not just leave you like that." :) :) :)

When I remember that sentence now, I can smile again without any hope that someday, he'll come back to me. Because I know that sentence does not mean anything for him, just as part of his attempt to relieve my emotions at that time. Unfortunately, until now deep inside my heart I still believe that he's not that bad. Hopefully it's true.

Wherever he is, whatever he does, hopefully he's okay and happy with his chosen life now.

I was taught the meaning of give in and surrender.

For the last couple years, I've done a lot of sacrifices so that all could work fine, but unfortunately it has no meaning for him. Even worse, I was slandered :) You can imagine how I feel right now, but I am very grateful because at times like this, I was taught the meaning of 'surrender'.

Yes, the meaning of "surrender" here in the sense of letting the process take place naturally. Let God's will happens. I strongly believe, the lives of people who are full of lies will never be peaceful.

It was just a bitter episode in my amazing life.

What's left?

What's left after the mess we created?

An empty heart.
A wound.
A wet pillow.
A swollen eyes.
A bitterness.
The memory still remains in my head, cycling like an endless loop.
It's indescribable.

SJP

Check them out. What a fabulous style... Loving this lady a lot!
She is my fashion inspiration even though I don't copy all of her style :P Let's admit that some of her clothes/dresses are not suitable for daily use, but she is Sarah Jessica Parker!
Let's say that I'll dress like her when I have enough money to buy designers clothes and shoes. Meanwhile, I'll just admire her style.
For me, her fashion sense is unique and memorable.
Who else have a fashion style like she does?
I also have 2 of her perfumes collection, Lovely & Covet. The smell of these perfumes are exceptional!
She is not pretty, she is unique and yes... she inspired me.