It's been weeks and soon even a month without his presence. There is feeling of relief and freedom flows in my vein as he left, but all of it mixed with a great sense of loss.
Sometimes I blame myself for everything happened, there are times when I'm angry because I was treated very unfairly, I sometimes let myself talk in silence and thinking what have I done in the past so now I have to feel this.
I miss him sometimes, although the last time he said , "I can not just leave you like that." :) :) :)
When I remember that sentence now, I can smile again without any hope that someday, he'll come back to me. Because I know that sentence does not mean anything for him, just as part of his attempt to relieve my emotions at that time. Unfortunately, until now deep inside my heart I still believe that he's not that bad. Hopefully it's true.
Wherever he is, whatever he does, hopefully he's okay and happy with his chosen life now.
I was taught the meaning of give in and surrender.
For the last couple years, I've done a lot of sacrifices so that all could work fine, but unfortunately it has no meaning for him. Even worse, I was slandered :) You can imagine how I feel right now, but I am very grateful because at times like this, I was taught the meaning of 'surrender'.
Yes, the meaning of "surrender" here in the sense of letting the process take place naturally. Let God's will happens. I strongly believe, the lives of people who are full of lies will never be peaceful.
It was just a bitter episode in my amazing life.
I miss him sometimes, although the last time he said , "I can not just leave you like that." :) :) :)
When I remember that sentence now, I can smile again without any hope that someday, he'll come back to me. Because I know that sentence does not mean anything for him, just as part of his attempt to relieve my emotions at that time. Unfortunately, until now deep inside my heart I still believe that he's not that bad. Hopefully it's true.
Wherever he is, whatever he does, hopefully he's okay and happy with his chosen life now.
I was taught the meaning of give in and surrender.
For the last couple years, I've done a lot of sacrifices so that all could work fine, but unfortunately it has no meaning for him. Even worse, I was slandered :) You can imagine how I feel right now, but I am very grateful because at times like this, I was taught the meaning of 'surrender'.
Yes, the meaning of "surrender" here in the sense of letting the process take place naturally. Let God's will happens. I strongly believe, the lives of people who are full of lies will never be peaceful.
It was just a bitter episode in my amazing life.
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