Trust

How many times I let myself trust on someone but it turns back to me in form of the weapon that shot and kill me?

I had sleepless night last night. My thought was filled with so many questions, mixed feelings, and uncertain emotions. I hope tonight I can sleep tight because I dont want to look pail and sad on the next day.

I think I'm done in trusting people. The last person I trusted just telling me nothing but lies. I'm just so sick of lies, rejections and excuses. Maybe it's not fair for some people around me (who have nothing to do with my problem) if I let myself not trusting them. But, I just want to be honest to myself and to them. Nobody knows what would happen tomorrow. Today a person could say that he/she loves you and the next day a person could say that he/she doesnt love you and they say sorry for that.

I'm sorry, I don't love you anymore.
I'm sorry, I don't care about you anymore.
I'm sorry I should go.
I'm sorry I have to leave you.
I'm sorry, it's not you...it's me.

....and more and more sorry sentences are lingering around me....

I risk my relationship with my friends and other people that (maybe) genuinely loving me by telling them that I don't trust any of them. I'm doing this to protect myself. Being hurt is a part of life, I realize it quite well. But right now...I want to reduce the amount of pain in my life. I'm not saying that I would be like this forever. Something maybe will change my point of view about 'trust'. We'll see.